There’s something in my tone that’s off
It’s not a scoff
Cough
Clearing my throat, I’m thinking
Trying
Hiding what I’m feeling
I never lie, but I find loopholes
To keep myself safe, away from assholes
Who clamp on to vulnerability
Suck like leaches with no kind of civility
I won’t be hurt
Hit
Or thrown down
In your own hate, I hope you drown
What is wrong with you?
Can’t you see,
That what your doing is hurting me
I can’t trust anyone
I can only trust myself
There’s no one to help
Listen
No one to care
But it doesn’t matter, cause I don’t like to share
What’s going on in my life
It’s my business
Not yours
Chores
That’s what I am.
A burden
A counselor
I help, but do not get helped
Is this a problem?
Unhealthy
Probably
But it doesn’t matter, because no one can see
That I’m falling
I don’t let them
It’s my own damn fault, I’m to blame
Shame
It’s all some kind of game
It’s a battle for power
A struggle for dominance
Dance
I’m cracking
My shields are being torn away
Decay
To my dismay.
I left
Said Goodbye
I’m done
Through
There is no more me and you
Now I’m in another world
There’s something about you that’s different
I like you.
I’m getting attached.
That’s a problem
It’s only natural that I’m pulling back
Stepping away
Expecting an attack
Smack
But it doesn’t come
Why?
I don’t know
Confused
In this constant state of unknown
This is unmarked territory
I want to run, push away
But something is holding me back
It’s you
What do I do?
This isn’t normal
Not what I’m used to
Where’s the yelling?
Fighting?
Screaming?
Trust
I want to give it to you
But this is new
Something will happen, I know
Something that will break this newfound flow
Negativity
Captivity
In my own mind
Fears
I can’t show weakness
Put down my guard
Yet, I do when I’m with you.
Pride
Fear
It always goes back to fear
Fear of being hurt
Taken advantage of or something worse
I want to talk
Explain
But how can I?
When even I don't understand
