Lost

In a world of schedules and order,

Here I find myself trapped in a corner.

With no way out and no looking back,

How did I get off the beaten track?

Is this all part of the plan?

To get me feeling down and questioning who I am?

I don’t understand what’s going on with my life,

What has caused all this turmoil, rage and strife?

All I know is that I’m so angry, all the time,

But I don’t want time to rewind.

Where I am, who I am, and where I’m going,

I’m going to keep on growing.

Looking back, wanting to turn around,

It’s only going to get me stomped to the ground.

But, I’m so lost, alone, and scared,

If people get too close to me, my defenses are flared.

Just tell me what I’m supposed to do!

Why was my vision askew?

I just don’t understand…

I’m hoping you know what you’re doing… that this was part of your master plan.

Am I wrong?

Will this pain be life-long?

I’m standing here with the wall to my back,

Wondering why the world won’t cut me some slack.

But, this is my test,

And I’ll conquer it with zest.

Nothing can keep me back, because I’m now awake,

It’ll be a piece of cake.

I hope,

No, I know I will cope.

It’s who I am,

I will always get myself out of every jam.

I refuse to run, hide, and cry,

On the horizon, courage, I spy.

But, there is no map or back roads,

I am alone as the shell of my misery erodes.

I will fight to get free, to be happy,

I will find me.

But, right now I’m going on a trip. How much does a map cost?

Because, for now, I am lost.